Disappointment at passing of same-sex marriage bill

Family Life International NZ is disappointed that most politicians chose to vote for the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill last night, despite there being a reasonable amount of opposition to it.

True marriage, we believe, can only be between one man and one woman. Marriage offers stability to society and provides for the future prosperity of our nation. Many New Zealander’s believe this to be true and their concerns have been largely ignored by the majority of Ministers.

Supporters of same-sex ‘marriage’ tell those of us who oppose the legislation that it will not affect us, that it is about love, equality and human rights. But this legislation does affect those who are not in support of same-sex marriage. We are not allowed to speak our minds. We are called ‘haters’, ‘bigots’. What will come next?

Family Life International NZ is concerned that even with the limited clause which intends to protect religious organisations who, by faith must refuse to officiate at same-sex weddings, it does not go far enough. The clause does not protect independent celebrants or those who are at odds with their own Church’s position on same-sex marriage, and it does not protect ordinary service providers. Will we see situations arise such as in Canada where business owners are persecuted because of their refusal to offer services to same-sex couples?

Finally and most importantly, the welfare of children is at the forefront of our minds. Railroading the Marriage Amendment Bill through parliament has meant that discussion around the rights of the child have not been discussed properly. Evidence is clear that children thrive best when they are brought up in a home with a loving mother and father who are committed in a marriage relationship. Why would we legislate for anything less for our children?

The nature of civil marriage has now changed in New Zealand. Introducing same-sex marriage does change the meaning of marriage. It changes people’s perception of what marriage is. In the end, parliament’s decision will lead us to the absolute destruction of marriage and family.


  1. While I appreciate your and your supporters’ rights to freedom of your opinions and beliefs, it comes down to this:
    1. I am a human being, and I should have the same legal rights as everyone else. I pay the same taxes, I am a good member of society, I work hard, and I am a decent person, who has a loving, accepting family who raised me in a good, loving environment. Even my 93 year old grandmother, a devoted Catholic her entire life, does not understand why my male partner and I cannot get married. (She even calls him my husband to all her friends in the nursing home!)
    2. Most of my family are devout Lutherans and Catholics. My aunt is even a pastor. None of my family have any problem with me being gay or giving me the right to marry the man I love. (I have many, many cousins and a very big family. I am, to my knowledge, the only gay person in our family.) They know me, just like all my friends from all over the world and from all walks of life (including Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, agnostic and atheist friends) who have no problem giving me the green light to marry the man I love.
    3. I think most LGBTI people wanting to get legally married would not press a minister or celebrant or other ordained person to marry them if it was against that minister’s, celebrant’s or other ordained person’s wishes. New Zealanders seem to be pretty decent people all-round.
    4. Marriage is a social construct that has been fluid throughout the ages. To apply Christian values on marriage is only one way to define marriage, and we already apply different values on marriage today. One does not have to get married in a church, for example. Ask any anthropologist who knows a bit about different societies, and they will tell you that marriage has not always been between one man and one woman. The stand that marriage will change for the worst by allowing two people of the same sex who love one another to do it is scare-mongering at best.
    5. You state about being worried about the children. My partner’s niece and her (second) husband had their children taken off them because they were neglecting them. One of them was around 3 and could not walk, the muscles on his legs had wasted away, and doctors said had he been left like that, he would have died 2 weeks later. My male partner and I took care of one of the children, a teenager, even going as far as to consider adopting the child (because CYFS were not giving the children back to my partner’s niece). Because we were not allowed, as a couple, to legally adopt the child, it ended up the child went to his grandparents (who are retired and not well off) until he turned 18 (which was about a year later). My partner and I are moderately well off, paid off all the child’s school bills owing (about 5 years’ worth), bought new school uniforms, books, clothes, and so on at a considerable expense, and we would have continued to look after him if we could. His school, his peers, his teachers, everyone said he was more focused and achieving a lot better at school and in his relationships with others when he lived with us. He is now married to a beautiful young woman, with 3 beautiful children of his own, so we obviously didn’t do that bad of a job despite being a gay couple.
    6. I am an educator. I work with lots of young adults in my line of work. My partner also does this. We see kids from broken homes, kids from single-parent homes, kids who’ve had to live with their grandparents, kids who have been abused by their straight parents, and so on… And they might have scars, but they have turned out okay, for the most part.
    7. Family Life International argues that “true marriage can be between one man and one woman”, and that “brings stability to society”. Same-sex marriage can bring more stability to society through lowering the divorce rate by proxy. The Kim Kardashians and Brittany Spears of this world make a mockery of marriage, not two men or two women who are truly in love and want to spend their lives together. (On our block, for example, in the immediate area, we have only 2 stable couples: us and another couple across the street. One man is divorced because his wife cheated on him; the couple next door to him have had an affair; another couple don’t even sleep in the same bedroom… and this is a reflection of your “stable” society.) In addition, the Bible speaks of polygamous marriages as being sanctioned by God, so isn’t that also “true marriage”?
    8. I don’t know where this “many New Zealanders” is coming from, because I have lived in New Zealand for 17 years and I have met only 1 person out of tens of thousands who have ever had a problem with my relationship or my sexual orientation. None of my students — and we’re talking about 2,000 over those 17 years — has ever had a problem with my sexual orientation or my relationship.

    It’s easy to spout things off like same-sex marriage will ruin society, but it won’t. Change is sometimes scary to people who don’t have all the facts or haven’t had the opportunity to understand or to meet and truly talk and listen to people to whom the change will affect for the better.

    My parents were told by the Catholic church that they shouldn’t marry because it would be a mixed marriage (Lutheran and Catholic) in the 1960s.

    A friend of mine’s parents were told they shouldn’t marry because one was black and one was white in the 1970s.

    Many people now think this sort of thinking is outdated, and it proves that marriage has changed over the years. And it’s changed for the better.

    Allowing all consenting adults to enter into a legal marriage with the person they love is just another change. Embrace it.

  2. “amendment…does not protect ordinary service providers. Will we see situations arise such as in Canada where business owners are persecuted because of their refusal to offer services to same-sex couples?”
    Discrimination against people in the provision of goods and services on the grounds of sexual orientation has been illegal in New Zealand for 20 years under the Human Rights Act. The Marriage Amendment Act has no bearing on this.

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