The pornography habit can be defeated with fortitude and the help of Christ the King

Obsession with pornography is profoundly harmful but it can be overcome with courage, determination and the help of God.

The evidence of the damage done by pornography is overwhelming – to a person’s brain, to a person’s marriage, to a person’s capacity to resist other kinds of harmful sexual behaviour, and, above all, to a person’s soul. However, help is at hand, both human and divine, which can help someone enslaved by pornography to overcome their destructive obsession and to build, in its place, virtuous, character-building habits which lead to an increase of goodness in both their own lives and in the lives of others.

What’s wrong with pornography?

A major part of the answer to the question is that we are talking about the human vice known as lust.  Pornography promotes and feeds lust!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines pornography as “the depiction of erotic behaviour (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.” In the sex-saturated world in which we live, such material is super-abundant. The range and type of sexual behaviours (and perversions) which can be accessed appear to be limitless.

What is lust? 

Put simply, lust is a craving for sexual excitement.  More concretely, the Catholic Catechism of the Church says (emphasis mine):

²³⁵¹
Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

To understand how lust can be problematic, we need to view it as God sees it. The Catechism draws attention to what Jesus said about marriage and adultery (emphasis mine):

²³³⁶
Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins. In the Sermon on the Mount, he interprets God’s plan strictly:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
(Matthew 5)

Our Lord goes straight to the heart the issue (pun intended), for it is indeed a matter of the heart.  Note how the Catechism speaks of purity, and how Jesus zeroes in on lust as being the issue underlying the sin of adultery. 

Why focus on marriage?  Because it is the only relationship ordained by God for sexual union.

Why is lust a problem? 

Firstly, an inclination toward lust is the preeminent example of the wound of concupiscence, our tendency towards evil, resulting from the Fall.  The Catechism puts it this way (emphasis mine):

⁴⁰⁰
The harmony in which they had found themselves, thanks to original justice, is now destroyed: the control of the soul’s spiritual faculties over the body is shattered; the union of man and woman becomes subject to tensions, their relations henceforth marked by lust and domination.

Concupiscence is ‘baked in’ to our fallen nature, as it were, as children of Adam and Eve. St Paul describes this as a struggle within us between the ‘flesh’ and the ‘spirit’, and Jesus tells us to watch and pray, because “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)

Secondly, lustful behaviour is contrary to God’s plan for mankind, a plan explained to the Pharisees and to the whole of mankind by Christ Himself:  

“He answered, “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
(Matthew 19: 4-6)

God therefore created man and woman for marital communion.  This union is in accord with nature (how God designed us if you like), and with faith (in relation to God, as revealed in Scripture).  Marriage, being a natural communion ordained by God, provides the only proper context for the expression and fulfilment of sexual union and intercourse. 

Lust therefore is a problem because:

• it is a deadly/mortal sin (assuming it is voluntary and deliberate) which separates us from God and thus robs us of grace,
• it is self-centred (in the flesh),
• it objectifies and in a certain sense dehumanises the person(s) desired,
• it is not any part of true marital sexual union, which involves both giving and receiving exclusively and freely as a couple joined for life.  

Indeed, as we have seen, lust involves a kind of adultery in the heart, regardless of the marital status of the one who is lusting.

Porn powers lust

If we did not have an inclination toward lust, porn would have no power! 

Porn is an invitation to sin, and any level of acceptance of that invitation is at a minimum an ‘occasion of sin’.  The transition from invitation to engagement (and therefore lust) can be almost seamless, with sexual arousal and excitement being an almost immediate response.

St Augustine, in his Confessions, pithily describes the pathology of lust, and therefore the power of porn to encourage entry into lust:

“The truth is that disordered lust springs from a perverted will; when lust is pandered to, a habit is formed; when habit is not checked, it hardens into compulsion.” ^[i]

Porn acts like a gateway drug to lust that can lead down the path that St Augustine describes.

How does porn damage?

Damage caused by viewing online / digital porn can include:

• Damage to the soul:
  We can easily become enmeshed in the sin of lust, corrupting our soul and weakening our will.   It has a lethal effect on the Christian spiritual life. ^[ii]
• Damage to marriages:
  Since any sexual experience outside of the marital communion of a husband and wife is sinful, a married man or woman who viewing porn is being adulterous.  They are therefore sinning against God, their spouse, and themselves. The frequency and pervasiveness of porn use can mean a kind of cancer to the marriage is occurring.
• Sexual dysfunction:
  e.g. one major survey reported: 19% experienced premature ejaculation, 25% became disinterested in real sexual intimacy, 31% had difficulty reaching orgasm, 34% experienced erectile dysfunction.^[iii]
• Reduced libido:
  For many compulsive users of porn, sexual arousal declined with the same sexual ‘partner’, while in those who found new sexual partners, their arousal was maintained. ^[iv]  This is also known as the novelty or Coolidge effect.
• Single person only sexual experience:
  Perhaps 50% of users of digital porn have never had an interpersonal sexual experience. ^[v]
• Downhill progression:
  64% of users of digital porn report progression to more extreme or deviant forms of porn ^[vi]
• Brain fatigue:
  “… scientists are now seeing that continued exposure to porn gives the brain an unnatural high—something it literally isn’t wired to handle—and the brain eventually fatigues.” ^[vii]
• Becoming more childlike:
  “The very thing in the brain that is the mark of adulthood and maturity is the thing that is eroded as we view more porn. It is as if the brain is reverting, becoming more childlike.” ^[viii]
• Rewiring of the brain: 
  “Research has shown that frequent exposure to pornography can alter the brain’s reward system, leading to tolerance and a compulsive need for more explicit material” ^[ix]

De-powering lust

Seeking and gaining purity is the answer! 

There is no getting away from this; we must confront the enemy (lust in this case) head on, and the best weapons to use are prayer, disciplines of self-denial, frequent confession, and the Holy Eucharist.

It is almost certain that at the heart of any compulsion to engage with porn (view, read, listen, etc) is weak willpower.  A lack of the will to say no, to cease and desist, reveals a lack of the virtue of fortitude

Let’s remind ourselves about virtues.  As the Catechism puts it:

¹⁸⁰³
“Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself. the virtuous person tends toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers; he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions.

The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.

The virtue of Fortitude:

¹⁸⁰⁸ 
Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. the virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defence of a just cause. “The Lord is my strength and my song.” “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Since the “goal of a virtuous life is to become like God,” the development of virtue is the very essence of the Christian life!  Therefore, this fight back against porn is an opportunity. Given the damage porn does, the reasons to fight back abound. 

When we fight in this way, seeking to develop virtue, we are helped in this fight by God:

¹⁸¹⁰
Human virtues acquired by education, by deliberate acts and by a perseverance ever-renewed in repeated efforts are purified and elevated by divine grace. With God’s help, they forge character and give facility in the practice of the good. the virtuous man is happy to practice them.

Because it is a fight against the mortal sin of lust, it is a fight for eternal life.  God wants us to win the fight, and so will help us if we ask. 

The tools that help us to both ask and receive His grace are as mentioned earlier:

• Prayer – daily prayer, especially at the very start of the day, builds good habit
• Self-denial – starting small with voluntarily taking on denial of physical pleasures (perhaps certain food or drink such as coffee).  Small successes strengthens the will, and allows for progress.
• Confession – even if one is succeeding (in the short term at least) with not yielding to the temptation to look at porn, if it has been a deeply embedded habit, frequent confession provides a great opportunity for practicing humility, discovering more about oneself, and receiving more grace from God to further strengthen the will.
• Eucharist – there is no more direct channel of grace than Our Lord himself! Receiving Him in the Eucharist (assuming Confession and Absolution if mortal sin has preceded this) is obviously the best ‘medicine’ and source of strength.  Spending time in His presence before the Blessed Sacrament is next best and highly recommended.
• Spiritual advice and guidance – many people battling compulsive habits of sin have found great assistance with establishing regular reviews of their spiritual life with a good Spiritual Advisor.  The voluntary accountability this entails, together with the independence of the advisor to help unpack ones experiences, struggles, and victories, can be immensely helpful in building a more solid foundation of virtue. 

I have focused in this article on the virtue of Fortitude.  Being a Cardinal Virtue, other virtues can be founded on this.  In particular, the virtues of Chastity and Temperance are sources of discipline and strength that will add to the defences able to be built against lust, and the gateway to lust of porn. 

Practical Helps

There are groups, programmes and tools available which can be of great assistance in the battle against the temptation of porn.  In fact, trying to battle porn without help is extraordinarily difficult, especially where the compulsion is deeply ingrained.  Help examples include:

• Prayer and accountability / friendship groups – regular get-togethers with others dealing with similar battles can be very encouraging.  Partnering with others to voluntarily give them an honest account of what has been happening is a humbling and powerful way of ensuring true honesty with yourself. Confessors, spiritual advisors, and Parish Priests are usually good sources of information about those available nearby.
• Porn blocking / guarding software and applications – there are some really good digital guardian tools available that act like a fence to make gaining access to porn much more difficult. 
• Podcasts / video talks, and shared stories of recovery provide real hope by illustrating that one is not alone, and also that the battle can be won.

The battle can be won

One of the surveys described in the Damage section above also included respondents who committed to being porn-free and masturbation free.  This group reported:

• 60% had their sexual functions restored.
• 67% reported improved productivity and energy.

Note that this was a survey of ‘ordinary’ people, and most likely were not ones who had used the spiritual weapons described earlier.  Add Christ the King into the battle on your side, and victory is possible.

---

FOOTNOTES:

[i] St Augustine – The Confessions Book VIII – Conversion

[ii] Hutter – Pornography and Acedia (https://catholicman.uk/combat-pornography/)

[iii] Christian – 10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn (https://catholicman.uk)

[iv] Christian  – 10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn (https://catholicman.uk)

[v] Christian  – 10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn (https://catholicman.uk)

[vi] Christian  – 10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn (https://catholicman.uk)

[vii] Fradd – Neuroscience has proved that porn is literally making men’s brains more childish. Seriously. (https://catholicman.uk)

[viii] Fradd – Neuroscience has proved that porn is literally making men’s brains more childish. Seriously. (https://catholicman.uk)

[ix] Lecce – The Science Behind Pornography Addiction and Brain-Rewiring (networktherapy.com)

---

---